Leaving You

Yesterday was a hard day but it was a proud day too. Still it was sad. Your brother cried so much. Pobrecito. The little one didn’t cry, he just sniffled. It was just that he had moco in his nose! he said. I had moco that’s why! Can you almost hear him?

Poor thing, or good thing, he doesn’t get it yet.

While the big one cried, the little one tried to console him, she’s going to be okay, she’s going to have fun, yeah, she’s going to be okay. So cute. They went like that for a while, the big one crying, the little one consoling.

Your dad covered his tears with his sunglasses, said he was fine. You know him. Me? I cried quietly – on the outside – inside I was screaming. Why why why??!!! does time go by so fast? Why!!! Wasn’t it just yesterday that I met you for the first time? How come nobody at the hospital warned me it was going to be this quick? Next thing I knew I was taking you to preschool and kinder, then elementary and junior high and high school. That’s it, that’s all the time I got. And now you’re away following a dream and so far away from me and I wish I could stay with you, make sure everything is okay and that nothing ever hurts you. But I can’t and I have to just sit in the car looking out the window wishing you could see the beautiful redwoods with me, with us. And then I realize you’ll see them on your own and I cry again because I won’t be there with you to say Look! They’re so big!

On the drive back

We kept driving, the road curved in and around like a giant snake through the forest. Your brothers, still sad, were only a little bit amazed, they looked and then they fell asleep. I just closed my eyes.

Oh! but then guess who we discovered hidden in the forest among the redwoods?


Really! We did!

And you know who was impressed . . .

He walked in and stared at Bigfoot who was huge and surrounded by bears and gnomes of all sizes, houses made of hallow tree trunks, and a crazy (a$$) water fountain made with a redwood root that he probably pulled out of the ground with his bare hands, cause you know Bigfoot’s gotta be super strong. You should’ve seen all the stuff he had in his little store in the woods, signs and calendars, books, magnets, and keychains (you know that got your dad’s attention), he had baskets and those things that twirl with the wind. He’s a good businessman, that Bigfoot, cause he even had Paletas La Michoacana. 

To cheer me up, your dad got me a little wooden box of dreams (I know you’re what you’re thinking: corny but stay with me okay?) It’s small and smooth and reddish with woodgrain swirling all around it. I have to stick my dreams in there and I already know my first one. I had just dropped my little girl off at college, what do you think my first dream is?

You guessed it!

That she bring home the dough 🙂

Oh, yeah, and that she’s happy. Very, very happy.




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