Please be patient.
When your loved one is crying or sad or feeling misunderstood, please just listen to her.
Please don’t tell her to calm down, to relax.
Above all, please don’t tell her to look at the positives in her life. Unless she’s complaining every single day, be assured that it is more than likely that she can see the positives in her life, it’s just that she’s human and she has bad days too. Only hers are intensified because she’s got that little extra that she’s going through.
Just ask her what she would like from you, it’s very possible that what she wants is very simple. It might be that all she wants is a call at midday or to watch a movie on Netflix on Friday nights or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for Sunday breakfast. Don’t complicate yourself trying to impress her with something “better.” If you do that she will not have felt listened to. Only do that “better” thing if you’ve done the simple thing she asked for.
Be a shoulder for her to cry on, that’s it. Don’t lecture her on how she should feel, that will only make her feel worse, guilty even.
Many times she’ll be hard to deal with, she’ll cry for no reason, or at least it’ll seem that way but she’ll know why she’s crying, she just might not know how to explain it
It’s the pain
It’s the changes she’s trying to make that don’t seem to work
It’s that she doesn’t feel understood
It’s the fear of this illness not ever going away, or showing up again in the future
It’s that she’s trying so hard but sometimes it’s all just too much
It’s that she feels her faith slipping through her hands
It’s that she didn’t know it was going to be this hard
It’s the pain, the anger, the fear, the frustration
It’s the sleepless nights, the sleepy days
The side effects,
Sometimes, it may even be happiness
Or sentimental joy
So, Caretaker, please be patient
and know that she is grateful for everything you do for her.