Mystery and Magic

Yesterday I went to the beginning (or the end) of the rainbow!

I  wasn’t looking to do that, it just happened that the rainbow landed on the left side of the street I was driving through, on an empty lot filled with growing weeds.

And because I want to keep this magical and mysterious for you, instead of telling you what I saw, I’ll tell you what there I didn’t see: there was no pot of gold and there were no leprechauns dancing around or CareBears sliding off the rainbow. But what I saw left as much in awe as any CareBear or leprechaun or gold would have.

I wanted to take a picture but I was driving and I couldn’t and when I went back (because I actually did drive back to see it one more time), like magic, it had disappeared.

What I did take a picture of though was this:

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You see the light on the three flowers? That’s what Gael and I come home to every day after I pick him up from school. Everyday. The way the light hits those orchids is so pretty and when it’s at the same time everyday, it’s really beautiful!

I also took this picture of Gael and his ladybugs which he said were him and Nauj but Nauj said nooo and instead named them Red and Dot.

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Red is the one on the top leaf and Dot is the one on the bottom leaf. I know you think I’m making this up but I’m not. I actually did get to know them a little bit. Red is bigger and from the very beginning he was the one climbing to the top of the jar trying to find a way out. Dot, on the other hand, stayed at the bottom, just kind of walking around the edge. At first I thought that it was because Red was, like his name, louder and more extroverted and Dot was more of an introvert, thinking things through first, like a typical introvert. I don’t know, I could’ve been partially correct but I’m not sure because later I noticed that Dot had a broken leg and that was why he was mostly staying at the bottom. But even with a broken leg look where he walked to…

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almost to the top! It took him a while but he made it, he’s a very strong lady bug. And you’ll be glad to know that Gael has already let them go, they’re somewhere in the backyard happy to be home, I’m sure.

So there you go . . .

Rainbow beginnings, glowing orchids and persevering ladybugs. Little things we take for granted as we grow up. But believe me, we always return. And it feels pretty good when you let yourself believe in magic and mystery every once in a while. So with that being said, I wrote this song for you:

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance . . .
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

Okay, okay, so I didn’t write it, Lee Ann Womack did, but she does say a little bit of what I want to say to you so here’s the rest of the song ( I hope you like it) 🙂

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Plants, plants, plants!

Look at what Gael and I are growing! Can you believe it?

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Okay, so this is what happened. A couple weeks ago I wanted to make some pinto beans for dinner so I left the beans to soak for one entire day before cooking them – ’cause you know how long pinto beans take to cook, and then we’re using that little stove right now – and when I got ready to cook them I realized I had soaked toooo many beans. I only ended up cooking a little over half of them and the rest I left in the container because I didn’t know what to do with them and because I was too lazy to try and figure it out.

A few days later, the beans were still in the container, still waiting for me to see what I was going to do with them and that’s when Gael noticed they had started opening up and growing little roots (or whatever they’re called)! He was so excited and honestly, so was I. So I got a little pot of soil with a plant I was trying to get to relive (yes, I really thought I could relive a plant), I pulled out the dead rosemary roots and had Gael put three beans under the dirt. I had him do it because I think he really might have a green thumb. And now look! a little bean and we’re waiting for the other two so cross your fingers.

Oh and look at the gladiolas I got at Trader Joe’s. They’re so pretty!!! I love that fuchsia (for fucha) color! And I really like the little altar which, to me, is more spiritual than religious even though all the images are Catholic. But I’m still waiting for the Buddha to show up : )

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How about you? Are you taking pictures everyday? Practice, Practice, Practice!

The more scared we are of the work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it. -Steven Pressfield (The War of Art)       (P.S. Not to be confused with the Art of War)

 

Love, Mom

Sooo . . .

Let’s pretend I’ve been here all this time, that I didn’t stop writing in this blog for you and let’s start all over again.

Did you notice I changed the picture? I’m sure you did. I was going to use the one you took (which I like better) but that picture is yours and I don’t want to take it from you : ). I love this picture too though. I love the colors and the rusticity of it and I realized that this is the kind of art that I love, the kind of pictures I love to paint (a cream rustic background contrasted with strong punches of color). Have you noticed that? In my writing too is the same (a backdrop that recedes with characters that make everything come alive).

But you know what I love most about this picture? It’s that it reminds me of our mini mother-daughter trip. I had a lot of fun and I hope you did too. I don’t know but I have a feeling it changed a lot of things for you and what you thought you knew about yourself. Like where you come from (meeting new family) and where you want to go (your choice of career). I’m sure, as exciting as it is, it’s also very confusing. And that’s okay, I guess it’s kind of supposed to be that way, otherwise it wouldn’t be fun right?  You might make the right choice or you might not. But really, I don’t think choices are supposed to be right or wrong, what they do is they take you to places that are either good for you or they’re not. Drugs and alcohol -> addiction, unemployment, homelessness.  Education and hard work -> passion, a job, a home. When you decide on your career (because that’s probably one of your main concerns right now) make that decision based on what makes you feel alive and excited, angry even, not on what you think will bring you a higher social status or a nicer house. Those things will come to you all by themselves if you work hard and with passion. Don’t follow the rules, there is no order of how things are supposed to be. There is no first things first. First is what’s inside you. What’s calling you? You’re in a good time right now, you have no responsibilities other than yourself. You can choose to take whichever path you feel is right for you right now. Will that guarantee that everything will be perfect? That your future will be forever bright? No, not really. But at least you won’t be left in the “what if I had . . .” zone. In the “hubiera” place that is so horrible to live in.

Do. Act. Move forward. Have you made mistakes? Yes. Are you making mistakes? Yes. Will you keep on making mistakes? Yes. There’s no way around that but forward. It’s okay to be afraid and angry. Go ahead and be afraid, be angry (anger can be a propeller, but only if you act). So, make choices and act.

I love this quote by Sandra Cisneros:

“. . . anger when it’s used to act, when used nonviolently, has power.”

 

Love,

Mom

Death and Time and the Lack of Words for it . . .

There are so many things I want to tell you about I don’t even know where to start.

Let’s see . . .

There’s yesterday when I made the mistake of making fun of Gael exaggerating his knee scrape (you know how he likes to overdo his little scrapes). When I picked him up from school he had a band-aid on each knee because he had been running, tripped and scraped both knees. He held his shorts up all the way to the car, we went to the market and he kept walking and holding on to his shorts, at home he complained even more. By dinnertime he couldn’t even handle getting up on the chair. Your dad was home by then and I made the mistake of saying that he was dying (of pain) only I didn’t say “of pain,” I left it at dying and he took it literally. He thought he was really going to die and I kept saying no, he wasn’t going to die but he kept crying and I couldn’t figure out what to say to fix what I had already said. Fortunately, after a few minutes he was okay but when I was dressing him after his bath he remembered and began to cry again. This is kind of how it went:

“I don’t want to die! I’m not old. I’m not old ma?”

“No, you’re not old,” and then of course you know me, I try to keep it real with you guys and of course we’re all going to die and I couldn’t lie to him and say he wasn’t going to die, so I said, “It’s going to be a long long time, one hundred years.”

“When? Tomorrow?”

“No, not tomorrow, a long long time. You’re a kid –”

“I don’t want to! I don’t want to be old! I don’t want to die!” he was ready to cry by now and I couldn’t figure out how to fix it so I said I had to go to the bathroom and left it to your dad who, of course, had no problem telling Gael he wasn’t going to die just to get him to stop crying and go to sleep.

“I don’t want to die,”

“No, you’re not going to die,”

“Nauj is going to die? He’s old?”

“No, he’s not going to die either.”

Tú estás viejito? I don’t want you to die!”

“You don’t want me to die? Okay, I’m not going to die.”

“Y mamá? Y Mayerlin?”

“No, tampoco. None of us are going to die, we’re going to be eternal.”

“Why everyone gets old? The house too?”

“Yeah, the house too.”

“Why?”

Now, how do you explain this to a four year old, life and death and time? So your dad just says, “because that’s life.”

“Oh . . . when we go to the new house this house is going to be old?”

“You don’t want the house to be old either?” (Your dad asked this like he was walking on glass)

“Yeah, it’s okay.”

(Relief!)

“Ok.”

That’s when it was finally safe for me to get out of the bathroom and go to bed.

“Daddy said I’m not going to die. Tu no?”

“No, we’re not going to die.” (If you can’t beat’em, join’em right?)

“Read me a book. The Very Hungry Caterpillar.” (Ironic don’t you think?)

“Okay.”

. . . he was a beautiful butterfly!

The End

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There’s also this morning that I was listening to the radio and they were talking about parents using iPads to replace teaching their kids the basics like abc’s, colors, shapes, etc. Is it okay or not?

There’s also the Lila Downs concert I never wrote about.

Then there’s Tia Pilar’s birthday party which I know I already told you a lot about but the one thing I didn’t tell you was how all the kids, rather than run around and play together, were all pinned to their phones or iPads and how Gael fixed that just a little.

And finally there’s this little poem and picture I want to share with you, can you tell what story it is?

But all this will have to be on some other posts so until then . . .

Love you and miss you,

Mom

OMG!

I AM SO TIRED!

I’ve been cleaning, drilling, ripping off cabinets, painting, cutting wood, and even installing flooring. You name it, I’ve done it or will do it!

Oh, yeah, your dad helps too 😉

I like it though, saves me from having to cook too much. haha!

We’ll probably be painting the living room this weekend. So excited about that.

Oh and can’t wait to show you the office, it’s red, turquoise, and yellow. You’re gonna love it!

Oh, and tomorrow we go to Lila Down’s concert at the Pantages. So excited about that too. I’ll make sure to take lots of pictures for you.

Our neighbors are some little blonde girls that Nauj made Gael say hi to. And then I heard them talking . . .

N: Do you like a girl?

G: Oh a girl? Yeah.

N: What’s her name?

G: I don’t know.

N: Oh. . . Me too

You should’ve heard them. It was so cute.

Watch out with Nauj, he’s growing up.

I haven’t taken any pictures lately but here’s this one that we’re going to buy . . .

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Just to make you laugh a little : )

Love,

Mom

I’m Sorry

I’ve been away for a few days. Between fixing the house, packing and painting the cheer box I haven’t had time for much. But I’m still here 🙂

I haven’t even gone to the writing group and I probably won’t go tomorrow either. Plus, I think I need to keep my writing to myself for a while.

Today I’m going to draw Gael’s animals in his room. He’s so excited. Especially because your dad gave him the idea of painting a different theme on each wall: safari, farm, sea, and insects. But I’m not gonna do that. Unos dos caballos y ya.

No, maybe not just two horses but I’ll have him choose between farm and safari. Although, I think he became a little confused about which animal goes where. He thinks the safari is the zoo and since we went to the zoo when we visited you, and he saw chickens and pigs there, now he thinks chickens and pigs are safari animals (aka zoo animals).

I already tried to explain it to him but his feelings get hurt – you know how he feels about his animals. Lately, everywhere we go he fills his plastic bag with the green trim and his elephant backpack with as many animals as he can carry. He takes them EVERYWHERE. Were you there the day he actually fell back because of the weight of his backpack? He was sitting on a little ledge and the weight pulled him straight back. Haha! Luckily it was only dirt that was behind him and he didn’t get hurt. I wasn’t there but your grandma told me and I’m laughing just imagining it.

This picture is now on my desktop

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You chose a beautiful place to go to college, I really loved it. ❤

And I really love you,

Mom

This Weekend . . .

I’ve been packing a lot lately. I’m almost done. And I thought we didn’t have a lot of stuff. I’m trying to get rid of as much as possible, really. I’m going to try and keep ONLY what we need, I’m gonna get rid of a lot of dishes that have just been sitting there and I’m going to buy only what I REALLY like for the kitchen so it looks cute and that way I will feel like cooking. Not even with a cute kitchen you don’t think I’ll want to cook? Okay, maybe you’re right but I do have to cook anyway and if I have a pretty kitchen then maybe at least it’ll make me want to walk in – and look around : )

Here are some pictures from yesterday’s carne asada at Angeles Forest where the sun was shining and leaves were sprinkling over our heads.

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mmm . . . want some arroz rojo?
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Your dad went crazy and, well . . . can you find him?
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Then we went on a hunt for some treasure and came upon . . .
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A zoo and its zookeeper!
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There was a super tall baby giraffe who was eating a tree . . .
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There was even an octopus that was not in a good mood and attacked your brother, that fight got pretty cray cray!

If this zoo is still around when you come home I’ll take you to it, the zookeeper is pretty awesome, he has all types of animals.

A lot of homework this weekend? Keep up the good work!

Love,

Mom (who loves you very much!)

Yesterday Morning: ahhhhh

Yesterday, after I dropped off your brothers, I decided to go to Panera. I sat there  drinking a green smoothie and eating a cheese pastry. I wrote for a little bit and then went home. And then you know what I did? I sat down on the sofa and turned on the TV. Can you believe that? I didn’t want to but I really needed it.

I started watching Club de Cuervos, it’s a new Netflix series. It started out kind of !!!!! ! like The Wolf of Wallstreet type of !!!!!. I even wanted to cover my eyes but it was just a little piece in the beginning, the rest of the program was actually pretty good. It’s about a brother and sister whose dad owns a soccer team and dies of a heart attack. The son, who is very irresponsible and immature, takes his place as president but the company doesn’t want to give the position to the sister because she’s a woman and her dad wanted her to raise a family. Of course that’s not what she wants, she wants to be president because she’s good at her job. That’s the main issue and then there’s this other drama with the woman their dad was living with and who is about to have a baby . . . DNA test . . . one third of the dad’s fortune . . .

It’s pretty good, might have to bingewatch.

Then I went to sleep. Soooo goooood!

And the rest of the day was busy busy

Today was picture day with Nauj. I ironed his shirt, a collared shirt. I gave it to him, he took it and when we were about to leave and I didn’t see him wearing it I asked him about it.

Yeah, it’s in my backpack.

And he says it like it’s fine, no problem.

Ayayay!

So proud of you, have a good day today 🙂

Love,

Your Má

Hi! Love You!

My head is blank right now. It’s like a have a lot to tell you but I can’t remember what it is. It’s all gone.

I should actually be packing cause it’s almost time to move and there’s still so much to pack. Mostly it’s the art room that is still full of stuff. I’ve packed up one more box but there’s still more to pack. I feel like I can’t finish, I know you’re thinking that it’s because of ALL the stuff I have in there but it’s just a lot of the little things. Actually, I don’t even know. I don’t want to go in there. I don’t want to pack.

But I can’t wait to start painting and decorating the other house. I already pinned a lot of stuff of my Pinterest board. And I just started a new “Mexican inspired” board, look . . .

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Are the colors too much for you? That’s why I added a little bit of white in there. But don’t worry, I’m not going to paint the house like this, even though I would love to, it’s just for inspiration. I do like the skull wallpaper though. And the sarape on the blue chair, I like that too.

And I love the hot pink on the stairway! But don’t worry, I’m not going to paint the wall that color. Maybe when I have my house in the country. En el rancho.

Well, I hope you had a nice day today. Study hard, keep warm and have fun! SAFE fun : )

Love,

Mom

How Are You?

How was your day? Your first day of college classes? Were they fun? Hard? Exciting? Nerve-wracking? Boring?

All of the above? (except boring, I hope)

Well, échale ganas!

I know you can do it!

At home, things are as normal as they can be, considering we’re down one (miss you!)

Yesterday we spent the day with your grandma, your uncle and his girlfriend. (Nauj went to work with your dad)

We had a good day, if you don’t count the fact that I was feeling a little down, or not really down, just worried. Worried about you. Are you eating well? Will you be okay? Are your friends responsible friends? Will you forget about us? Are you being good to yourself? Plus so many other questions that didn’t let me concentrate on Gael all that much, after all we were taking him out for his birthday, even if it was only us five.

First we went to La Placita Olverathat was nice. I always love going there. We went into La Plaza de Cultura y Artes so Gael could play in the Calle Principal (aka Main Street). At first he just didn’t understand what he was supposed to do there but when we played pretend in the little grocery store, he got it and then he didn’t want to leave.

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I offered him chiles from a jar but it was glued shut, then I offered him a can of beans (or something else, can’t remember) but they were screwed on to the shelf. Then I offered to weigh the (toy) fruits and vegetables he had put in the basket (a real basket, a canasta) but the needle on the scale was missing. OMG! But he was having fun anyway, and you know I enjoyed it too. First it was my turn to stand behind the counter and I charged him $5 cause we were in the 1920’s but when it was his turn he charged me $100 because he only knows the present where it costs $10 to buy a gallon of milk and a dozen eggs. So that’s what he charged me. He’s so cute.

We also went inside the clothing store and he tried on some nice clothes

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So cute!

Then we went back out to La Placita and looked at all the little stands with all their cute Mexican (and sometimes not so Mexican) art. They have a lot of new stuff now: mirrors backed with a Loteria card and decorated with glitter glue, aprons with chile and skull prints, wallets that look like conchas of all the three colors that I think a stared a little too long at because I was getting hungry, tissue paper fiesta banners, and this cute wood thing to hang on the wall that I plan on making cause it is so easy to make and I could put any picture I want on it. Your uncle’s girlfriend liked it and I might make one for her too, with a Frida picture, you know how much she likes Frida.

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Do you ever wonder how many times you’ve shown up as a random person in someone else’s picture?

We also went inside the Avila House, I never get bored of that place.

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But Gael was kinda bored in there, so we just took a quick look.

We finished the day off at the spaghetti place we like on 3rd St. Only this time I didn’t choose spaghetti, I chose rice, chicken, and veggies (yeah, I know, then what’s the point of eating there? pero se me antojó, sorry). Gael chose pizza though. I thought the old lady in front of us in line was going to pay for his slice, she kept talking to him then asked his name and called him to stand next to her when her turn came up but then she just left him standing there so had to pay. Ay que viejita . . . she was so nice and cute though.

Finally, to end the day we went to the park across the street where the entrance is pretty much lined with vendors selling all their colorful toys and shhh . . . tuff that every kid begs their mom for. Ayayay! But Gael didn’t ask for anything. I had already bought him one of those at the Placita Olvera, it was inside the elephant backpack with his animals.

Hope you had a good weekend too! Glad you’re making friends. Thanks for the pictures, my favorite:

Love,

Mom